Inspired by the advert below, we wrote our very own fairy tales with a twist. Check out more on our individual blogs.
Goldilocks and the Three Bears by Room 3
Once upon a time there were three bears, who lived together in a house of their own in a wood.
The pines in the wood were several houses tall and reached towards the heavens. Even if there was a moon that night its silvery rays would not penetrate the dense canopy above her. She followed a narrow path, which was made uneven by the knotted roots that crossed it. All the while she listened for wolves but there were only small sounds of rustling bushes and the howl of the wind. Ahead of her in a clearing she saw a cottage.
The small cottage was so old and poor that it was surprising it was still standing. And yet it seemed alive and welcoming, a warm ribbon of smoke rose from the crooked old chimney. The walls were made of stone and the roof was thatched together with straw. The cottage was the only thing in the clearing. There were no other houses around it, and this one would have looked abandoned if not for the smoke. A green gate with paint falling off was the entry to the property. Then came a narrow path with small pebbles, a tiny pond with lilypads and maybe even a frog or two. Vines grew up the weathered brown planks of the arched door. She crept cautiously along the path and peered through the frosted glass of a window.
Goldilocks’ famous long golden tresses were bound together tightly in a harsh braid and covered with a jet black beanie. Her eyes the colour of burnt coffee narrowed as she cased the home. Her raven black clothes camouflaged her amongst the shadows as she efficiently opened the latch of the window. Lifting the window skillfully Goldilocks entered the property without a sound.
Goldilocks listened intently for any sound of the inhabitants. Silence. Striding confidently into the kitchen she encountered a large oak table bearing three bowls of porridge. Goldilocks feeling famished picked up a rudimentary carved spoon and dug straight into the largest of the bowls. Finding the porridge unpleasant and far too hot, she tasted the other bowls. Finally settling on the smallest bowl she greedily devoured every last morsel. Goldilocks now made her way into the lounge area where a welcoming fire smoldered in the hearth. The warmth, in combination with her full stomach, made Goldilocks stifle a yawn. Surveying the room Goldilocks was unimpressed with the primitive possessions of the family so decided to try upstairs. She searched through the bedrooms, but they yielded nothing of value either. Fatigue overcame her and Goldilocks decided to lie down and rest before plotting her next move. Some time later she was startled awake by the sound of a wrought iron key turning in the lock.
Goldilocks threw open the bedroom window in a panic and clambered down the drainpipe before disappearing quickly into the shadows. The family walked into their kitchen “Who's been eating my porridge?” enquired the father, “Never mind that, ring the police I think we’ve been robbed!” responded the mother.
“So as far as you can tell, nothing has been taken?” asked the officer as he took down the details in his leather bound notebook. “No, but our food was eaten, and someone’s been through the cupboards and drawers, and it looks like someone has been sleeping in our bed” responded the mother through muted sobs. “I think we best get forensics in” said the officer.
The white clad forensic team moved cautiously through the house in order to not disturb any possible clues. The sound of the cameras going off was like a bush full of crickets. “Dust that spoon for prints too” the team leader commanded. “Boss, look what I’ve got here” said a figure coming down the stairs. A small plastic bag was held up to the light containing a single golden strand of hair.
Sitting at the bench the Honourable Judge Rumpelstiltskin presided over the court. Goldilocks was flagged by two burly moustached police officers. In the witness box was the forensic expert. “Can you confirm that the strand of hair found at the bear’s residence matches that of the accused” asked the prosecution lawyer draped in a long black robe. “Yes I can conclusively state that the hair found at the residence matches the accused. I am in no doubt that Goldilocks broke into the bear’s home”.
After a short deliberation, the head juror delivered a unanimous verdict of guilty. The right honourable judge banged his gavel to bring order to the court before announcing “Goldilocks you have shown no remorse for the crimes you have been found guilty of committing, you leave me no alternative but to sentence you to ten years without parole, officers take her into custody”.
Goldilocks spent the next decade contemplating the errors she had made and on her release finally understood something we all know ‘you must never steal’.